Does Persecution Exist in America?
By Joey King
Losing friendships because you begin following Jesus is tough, but it is going to happen. Especially if you lived a sinful lifestyle, and suddenly stop. Or if you found Jesus later in life, you will likely lose friends or at the very least, have a wedge driven between some of your friends, perhaps even your closest of friends.
I was saved when I was 21, but it took me nearly 16 years to become faithful to God. Partly because I suffer from PTSD after returning home from Iraq and Afghanistan. I was depressed as I felt guilt, loss, and hate, but I realize now that was just an excuse! So I drank a lot and did many other immoral things that I am not proud of. I had turned my back on God. Then, out of the blue, I was minding my own business sitting in my office at work one day, and I heard an audible voice saying, “Give me a chance.” I was initially confused, but I knew what I heard, so I bowed my head, prayed in my office, and called my wife, who was much more robust in her faith, though not perfect, and I said, “Hunny, I think I just had a moment with God, I am ordering two bibles right now, and I would really like it if you would go on this journey with me.” And she cried and said, “I have been waiting so long for this and am so happy for you, of course, I will.” I tell you that because before this, and despite being a Christian, I was a 37-year-old man who had built a life around complete sin. But from the moment I bowed my head that day, my life completely changed.
A lot of our friends, like me before my moment with God, believed in God but didn’t want to stop what was considered the “good times”. Even if we downright knew what we were doing was sinful. Others were total non-believers who believed that God didn’t and couldn’t exist. Our hope was that maybe they will see us as changed and also find God or if they were already believers, at least begin to become more active in their faith. Despite this, we, unfortunately, experienced the loss of some friends. Particularly, in the sense of closeness. Our lifestyle change resulted in fewer invites, fewer bar-b-ques, and more isolation.
Perhaps they just didn’t think that we could have a good time without drinking and partying like we used to. And it’s true that we no longer wanted to participate in drinking activities but we could still hang out, right? The answer varies. We remained close with those that accepted us. We don’t mind if they still drink, cuss, or anything. After all, just because we no longer do those things, we were not going to throw stones. It wasn’t long ago we would have been doing the same thing! Matthew 7:1 opens with, “Judge not, that you be not judged.” We could still enjoy our friendship and just not participate in the things we didn’t want to. No stones were thrown from either side. Besides, it also gave us an opportunity to lead others to Christ who may otherwise never have been.
Our problem was that we spent so much time throughout the years attending bars and events that we used as party time that we didn’t have many Christian friends that followed Jesus in the way that we wanted to now. We didn’t have many if any Christian friends that lived a godly lifestyle period.
It can be a difficult transition when you have spent your entire life living one way, perhaps in total sin, then submitting to God and trying to walk in His light. You will quickly realize that your life change is not everyone’s cup of tea. Therefore, your relationships can change. There will be people who claim to be your friends who will no longer see you the same way. Some people might even say, “you’re different ever since you became a Christian,” expressing their disapproval that you will no longer participate in what they consider fun and what you now consider a sin. My suggested response is, “Well, get used to different!” though I wouldn’t recommend being a jerk about it.
It is not just about finding religion. If you change your lifestyle in any way that goes against what you used to do you will likely experience a shift in friendships. If you and your closest friend went golfing every weekend, and then you met a new friend and just went fishing with him every weekend and stopped golfing. What is going to transpire? Your golfing buddy will either need to start fishing with you, or you will likely grow apart. Same thing happens with drug addicts when they quit doing drugs. The only way to truly move on from drugs, is to first stop hanging with people who use.
Just remember that 1 Peter 4:14 says, “If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and God rests upon you.” So be strong, my friends. Changing your lifestyle will likely result in the loss of some friends. Perhaps people you hung out with for years, but because you changed your lifestyle, they see it as turning your back on them. But true friends are those willing to accept your growing faith. They are there because they care about you. This also alerts us that perhaps they are not as unwilling to hear the Gospel as they might appear. Therefore, I encourage you to share it with them…but gently. Most people do not respond well to religion being shoved down their throats. But you will find subtle opportunities to mention God’s love and salvation, and they will see how God is working in your life and hopefully ask questions or become curious. But always try to be prepared for that moment as 1 Peter 3:15 says, “but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,”
Do not fear anything or anyone except God even when it comes to relationships. Because, in the end, He is the only one you will have to answer to. You may lose a few friends, but you will gain salvation and eternal life.
God Bless!